Early day

Yesterday, I was working on a pair of jeans and it was harder than I expected. The textures on jeans were hard to duplicate and I wanted to create something special. Anyway, the end result was fabulous and I would definitely wear them in real life.

So, after designing all day in front of my PC, I really had no energy left for cooking. My partner called to say he would be coming home early, which is around 7pm. So I decided we should eat out in our neighborhood. I met him at the station and we went to this popular neighborhood hangout. They mostly serve grilled meats and vegetables on a stick. Very basic stuff. Always crowded even on the weekdays. We had some grilled meat and veggies and complemented by cold beer. After 15 minutes or so, I was relaxed and my tension melted away. We then went to a Chinese restaurant nearby and had some fried rice followed by some Haagen Daaz ice cream from Seven Eleven. Very nice and relaxing evening. We went to bed at 11pm and now I find myself awake at 6:30am the next morning.

I have a lot to do today so I might as well stay up and work. It's rainy and really cold today. The forcast calls for rain all day and night. Tonight my friends and I will go see a movie and then afterwards, we have dinner. Looking forward to it actually. I probably need to take a short nap sometime during the day....but we'll see. Once the day starts, I never find time to take naps anyway.

Now, what should I have for breakfast?

Dramatic me

I woke up today with my dog, Justin looking up at me. It is the second time Justin slept in my bed and it's so nice. At first I was worried that he might pee on the bed or something. Never happened. In fact, he stays asleep for the entire night. My partner doesn't allow that of course, but last weekend, he had to work overnight and because I was lonely, I had Justing sleep with me. This morning after my partner left for work at 6am, I went to the living room where he usually sleeps and carried him to my bedroom where we napped for a couple of hours. He just puts a smile on my face!!! :)

So these days, my life has been all about what's important to me. The things that I believe in and what I enjoy. The older I get, I feel as if it's a sin not to enjoy life. In fact, this year went by so quickly that November actually took me by surprise.

In summary this is what I did during 2009. I was in Hawaii visiting family in January and May. My mother came for a visit during the summer, my sister in fall. I was hospitalized for internal bleeding during spring. My design lable in Second Life has achieved some unexpected success this year. I've participated in quite a few major fashion shows in Second Life and I've never been busier than ever!!!

I do want to talk about my designing career in Second Life first. I need to because I feel I must try and take it all in. I remember my partner telling me about this thing called Second Life back in the day. In spring 2008, I launched my line called SHIKI(means seasons in Japanese) with a small men's wear line. I started to design women's clothes as well in summer of that same year. I had to move to a larger store due to inventory and so, I went ahead and purchased an entire island. 2009 started with my spring collection and summer continued with some hawaiiana designs. For fall/winter, I was invited to join two major fashion shows inworld. One was a fashion day that was even blogged by a real life fashion blogger. The other was fashion week by this established agency called Modavia. This did force me to create an entire collection within a 2 months span. During that time, I never left my apartment and was practically living fashion. This was a good thing because this experiece took my designs to another level.

Once this happened, I was intervied by a few magazines and invited to 5 more shows until the end of the year. Finally I took the leap, made the investment and went all out to do a special Shiki show. I then got invited to have my designs appear on tweet.tv, which is a television studio in Second Life. Finally I did a finale show on my own island called the Shiki Winter Extravaganza.
I have just started to work on my spring/summer 2010 collection for fashion week of next year, which I am already a part of. My sales have doubled and I am ecstatic to say the least.

Second life is a virtual world with a real working economy in which millions of US dollars are traded everyday between residents of the world. This in itself is quite unbelievable to me. However me, being a part of that is just amazing!

Next, my family. ;) What can I say except the fact that I truly love them! It seems the more time I spend time with them, the more I find out how wonderful they are. I am getting to know my sister more and this is a good thing. We've been apart for a long time since we live in differernt countries. It sometimes feels like we are kids again.....except the fact that we talk about guys and sex now. Well, come to think of it, we did talk about guys back then, but not sex.
My mother is getting older and I really want her to start thinking about getting interested in things other than just waiting a couple of years until it's her time to go. I will have to force her to come visit again in the spring. In fact, I think that's the perfect time for you as she absolutely hated summer! Frankly it wasn't that bad this year, however she just found the heat intolerable.

I've been having super vivid dreams these past couple of months. I always remember them when I wake up. There are times where I wake up crying....other times I find myself smiling at the fading memory of it. However they are always vivid. Now because they are dreams they are very unrealistic. It's just very movie-like you know. It seems like I just came out of a theater and have to think about the entire story and of what it all means.

Let me tell you a little bit about my dream this morning. My friend Michael, my partner and I were on some kind of mission. I don't exactly know what kind of mission we were on, but I know we were doing something dangerous. We sneaked into this hotel room ( I have no idea how we got the keys) and the room seemed messy like the maids forgot to come and clean it. This other guy, who I have no idea who it was, was part of our "team". He told us that he checked to make sure this room was vacant for the night so we will be using it for the night. I was afraid that someone might come in so I told everyone that we must talk in a soft voice so as not to raise suspicions. We all agreed and because we were all hungry, we went into the kitchen? ( why is there a kitchen in a hotel room) to see what was available. There was wonder bread(why?) and peanut butter. There were dirty dishes in the sink and everything was just really terrible. Anyway, I decided to just stick with eating some bread as it seemed fresh enough. I didn't trust the peanut butter.

For some reason we decided we needed to leave the room so we jumped out of the room window(6 stories high) and we all landed safely on the ground. At that time, I heard a ruckus behind me and saw the authorities coming out of the hotel entrance doors. We quickly found a van and got into it. We ducked and hid ourselved in it so that they wouldn't see. After we felt it was safe enough, we started to drive. Now my partner was the driver and for some reason he kept driving off the main road, into the grass and bushes...it was extremely annoying. We were up in the mountains and it seems Michael was getting tired of "country". I think that's the way he put it. After getting off the mountain, we were on a freeway which lead straight to the beach. Once again, my partner kept driving on the sand instead of the road. It was all so strange and I just wanted to yell at him. I was afraid that by driving illegally on the beach, we would call attention to the police. Right after the beach, we were now in the city of Singapore. But this Singapore looked more like Waikiki and Hong Kong put together. Very exotic really and a place I would love to visit again. I decided we should find a nice Chinese restaurant to eat tonight. I felt like dim sum. Then my dream ended. It was all really strange, but not as bad as some other dreams I have.

So anyway, like I said, i've been having vivid dreams almost daily. My sister thinks it's some kind of sign, but i really don't know. I would like to sleep without dreams though. I mean sometimes it's fun but other times, the dreams are so intense it's traumatic.

Last month, my friend Robert's father died. I will meet up with him this week and I'm afraid to ask him how he died because I think he committed suicide. I remember Robert telling me his father has depression and is always talking about wanting to die. Should I ask him about this? What should I do, I still don't know. On the same day, another friend is going through a bad breakup and I'm sure he wants to talk about all that. Which would become the hot topic of the evening I have no idea. I just hope it turns out well for everyone involved in the dinner.

Winter is here in Tokyo. It's a strange winter though. Bitter cold on some days followed by unusual warmth. The weather report must be consulted before leaving the house to help decide which coat will be worn. The leaves are still the colors of fall....red, orange and yellow. The weather leans mostly towards winter. The leaves will fall within a day or two I'm sure. All trees will be bare in the city. Christmas lights are up in full swing as if to compensate for the lack of leaves. It's all very beautiful in a furturistic sort of way.

This past month, I go through various emotions and moods. Tokyo is a vast and huge metropolis teeming with countless stores, theaters, parks, shopping centers, restaurants a you name it. Is there a city with so much activity going on? It almost seems as if every inch of space is taken up by someone of something. However, I sometimes start to feel suffocated especially when the sky is grey and it seems as if the sky is closing in on you. Other times, I feel elated and excited to be in a city where you can get your hands on almost anything you want. I mean I can get the best prosciutto from Milan, the famous croissants from France and everything from Kuaaina burgers, Krispy Kreme doughnuts, Coldstone, Harrods, Hediard....etc. etc.etc....I mean what can't we get here? In fact, I was telling my partner the other day that in our hands, we have a bag of ham from a famous deli in Italy, bread from Le Bihan(famed bakery in France), some cake from Wittamer(Belgium), cheese(Holland), and some local vegetables. This in itself is amazing when you think about it, especially when this is a daily thing and we take all this for granted. In fact, Michelin awarded our city with the most 3 star restarants in the world....more than Paris! That is great but will it be possible to sample all those 3 star restaurants in this city? It sometimes get all so overwhelming that I long for simpler days.

Now, does that mean I want to live in the countryside with the fresh air, chicken and cows and grow my own vegetables? Probably not.

Sister's trip to Japan. Part 6. Final

We took my sister to Odaiba. She loves to play those slots and stuff resembling Las Vegas gambling machines. We ended up staying there for hours and I myself, got hooked on those things! ARrraaagggh!!! They are dangerous!

Donut Planet donuts!!!! Yum!!!

So my sister stayed for 2 weeks and as you can see, there are very few pictures. My sister took tons of photos, however it seems that she lost those pictures due to her camera breaking or something. I swear there were more!

This trip was more or less, a relaxing trip. Of course it's never totally relaxing in Tokyo if you step out of your apartment. We did stay in a lot and just watched DVDs. She got me hooked on Grey's Anatomy, which is just rediculous for me! What's worse is that after she left, I went to rent season 2 and someone has rented out for the entire week! How rude!

She also tried Nepalese for the first time. She loves it just as I thought she would! She also tried Indian food once again. She really enjoyed it and hopefully she has a better impression of Indian/Nepalese food. I did forget to take her to the macrobiotic restaurant in Ikebukuro. I also meant to take her to this other restaurtant but it seems we didn't have time. Well, she just has to come back doesnt she? I'm hoping that I could take her to Hong Kong on her next trip. We would just have a blast!

I learned a lot more about my sister's eating habits. She doesn't care for sweets like me. She has no preference for alcohol. Anything goes with her. She also loves loves loves dried squid. She loves her Japanese rice crackers and snack things. She loves good soba and root vegetables such as gobo and lotus root. I can go on and on, but it was fun learning what she likes.

I do want to introduce her to a wider variety of cuisines though. I love traveling with my sister. She's fun and we get to talk about lots of stuff we can only talk to each other with.

I'm hoping my sister comes again next year and hopefully though, during a different season. Spring perhaps or winter? I'll let her choose. As long as it's not summer or during rainy season. I love my sister. She's the greateast sister a guy could have!

Sister's trip to Japan. Part 5. Odawara

Odawara must be one of my mother's fav places in the world. I decided to take my sister there this year. They have a huge spa with wonderful facilities. We left the house around 9:30am and ended up eating at this pretty horrible place on the highway. We shared an omu-rice and it was as stale and bland as they come. I definitely make better ones than that!

We got to Odawara town around 1pm or so. Decided to show her the Odawara Castle. After that, we checked into the Odawara Hilton and went immediately to the pool facilities. It was really nice and I think my sister was able to relax. Afterwards we had dinner at the hotel restaurant. My sister loves oysters and she had quite a lot of them. I tried one and you know what? It wasn't that bad! I'm still not a fan though. I had some meat and it was extremely tasty, probably because I hardly ever eat meat anymore!

At night, we ended up playing two round of darts and a round of bowling! fun fun fun!

Next morning, we had a huge breakfast and then went to Niji-no-sato,which is like a theme park with no rides. Just food, flowers and trees. It was nice though. I really enjoyed it!

The ride back was long as ever. The highways in Japan are always crowded during the weekends and there is just no way around them. Sigh....

All in all though, a great trip to Odawara!

Sister's trip to Japan. Part 4. Kawagoe

Kawagoe is a place I've taken my mother a few times. It's one of my favorite places to visit. It's quite near from where I live and it's a historical part of modern Japan.
My sister boarding the express train.

Coffe float

Sweet Potato Pudding. YUM!

In case you ever get to visit Kawagoe, be sure to have some delicious soba noodles here! My sister thought it was awesome! Never knew she loves noodles so much!

Takoyaki from GinDako, my favorite takoyaki place in Tokyo!

Sister's trip to Japan. Part 3. Disney Sea

Merry-go-round. Wheeeee!!!!

Nightfall has arrived at TDS.

The most fun i've ever had on a merry-go-round since I was a kid! I sure felt like a kid again!

My partner never goes on this with just me.

Sister's trip to Japan. Part 2. Disney Sea

Last year when my sister came, our last day was reserved for a visit to Disney Sea. However she had become ill so this time, we decided to take her earlier during her trip.
Halloween was in full swing at the park and it was really cool! To see the Halloween show, we had to play the lottery. The last time I came here with my partner, we weren't able to score tickets. This time however, my sister must have been our lucky charm! We won seats! yay!

This time I played cameraman. Here is a picture of my sister and my partner.

The two people I love in Cape Cod.

Once again, the pair in Venice.

I decided not to ride Raging Spirits. I've had a really bad panic attack the last time. What is wrong with me, I swear? I will make it my goal to ride. :(

My lunch. Tempura!

My sister's lunch was chirashi zushi. She said is was just ok.

It has was raining all day, but the weather was kind to us. They stopped the rain just in time for our show at night. I did have more pictures, but I can't seem to find them. Hmmm.......

My sister's Japan trip:Fall 2009 Part1

My lovely sister arrived in Tokyo on October 1, 2009. This is only her second time visiting me by herself and it was a treat for me to see her again. She was a bubbly as ever and I had finished most of my work before she arrived. I wanted to spend some quality time with her.
Because she visited last year, she was already aqcuainted with my dog, Justin. This is a picture of my sister taking my dog for a walk to the video store. On this trip, we spent a lot of time at home watching videos, which was fun for me. I always enjoy watching movies with her because we are both, movie addicts.

Silver week

Yesterday was the start of silver week....a very rare 5 day holiday that's something like golden week. I'm so excited just because my partner gets a rare 5 days off!!!

Today I'm off to the Vietnamese fair at Yoyogi Park. I usually go to the Thai fair but it's my first time to this one.

Ok, off to the fair on a perfectly sunny and cool day!

Taiwan

I just got back from a 3 night trip to Taiwan with my partner. It was a well-needed vacation for me and I got to sort of recharge myself. Truth be told though, it was actually a very tiring trip and I ended up sleeping most of the day today.

So our trip started out on Thursday afternoon in Tokyo. We drove to the airport and took Justin, our dog, to the pet hotel where he would be staying for the duration of our trip. Our JAL flight was pleasant enough and the food was normal airplane food. Nothing special but it was ok. We got into Taiwan on time.

Now my boyfriend is a public transportation freak and he insisted we take the public transportation into Taipei city. So we boarded the bus for a 20 minute ride to the high-speed railway station. I was actually nervous because all the characters were in chinese and almost nothing was in english. The other thing is that most people did not speak English. So I had to depend on my partner to read and decipher what the characters meant. The train station was very modern and nice. We had about 30 minutes to kill so we wandered around the shops. There was a 7-eleven store and it was quite interesting to see how different the things are. I quite enjoyed that. The train ride itself was smooth and quick. We got to Taipei Station and caught a taxi to the hotel.

We stayed at the Sherwood Hotel. It was a nice hotel, but for some reason i expected more. I was actually a bit disappointed and probably would not stay there again. Not saying it was bad...just expected more out of a luxury hotel.

After checking in, we headed out to the train station for a visit to the night market. I found the train system in Taipei to be very good and on par with Japan's train system. We got to the night market and got ready to explore.

We were quite hungry when we arrived and I had a list of things I wanted to try. We had this snack that was quite popular with the local people. It was this crunchy pie thing that they put into a tortilla like wrapper and then pounded with a mallet to destroy the insides. It was actually quite tasty, but a bit heavy with the deep-fried insides. My partner didnt like it, so I ended up eating some of his. We then found a noodle shop where they were serving the popular beef noodles. We got some of those and some boiled dumplings. Then we found dessert and had some shaved ice with fresh mangoes and sweet milk. Yummy. :)

I also tried these cherry tomatoes on a stick that were then coated with some hard sweet candy. My boyfriend thought they were weird. I thought they were interesting. I ended up throwing most of it away though. We found a fruit stand and got some fresh mangoes and guava. We threw the guava away. It wasn't so tasty.

We also found a lot of other things that we didn't try at the night market. We were just too scared to try them mostly. Stinky tofu was very popular and I had read about them. However they were just too smelly for us. Just walking past got us feeling queasy. I know I should them one of these days. I heard that they taste better than they smell so maybe one day. There were also a lot of chicken feet, meat intestines and stuff that I was just too scared to try. Other than that though, it was a great experience that everyone has to try out once.

We got back to the hotel and took a shower before going to bed.

Next day, we woke up and I wanted to get some warm soy milk that everyone eats in Taiwan. I found one just outside the hotel so had that. It was nice and felt good in my stomach. For lunch, we headed to the popular Din Tai Fung. Gosh the line was long and hot! I got sunburned that day and was starving by the time our seats were available but it was totally worth it! These were the best dumplings I've ever eaten. They were absolutely perfect! The way the hot soup burst into your mouth...the delicate taste of the soup itself...the perfect seasoning and texture of the meat inside...and the delicious wrapper....all dipper into soy sauce and vinegar with fresh sliced ginger. Yum.

We kept things light and only ordered these dumplings with some vegetables and noodles. We then headed out for the popular shaved ice place. We had to wait in line there too, but it was soooo good. Continuing on this food journey, we had another bowl of shaved ice with local taro and sweet milk. Yummy!!!

After all that food, we went to Taipei 101, the 2nd tallest building in the world the the fastest elevators in the world! Ok, I was not expecting much from this building but my partner and I were in awe of this masterpiece. The building was really huge! The buildings in Tokyo seem tiny compared to this one building. Yes, it's that tall. We took the elevators that took us to the 89th floor in about 37 seconds or something like that. It was sooooooo quick! The view from above was like looking out from an airplane window. I love this building! We had to talk to the 91st floor outside observatory. The view from the outside is not that great because it is surrounded by a pretty tall concrete wall for safety purposes. Now there are also restaurants on the higher floors but we didn't have reservations to go there. Next time.

The base of the building itself is a huge modern mall. The decor and design is science fiction modern and we just loved this place. We ended up having dinner at the food court there. We walked around the area and we were so tired by the end of the day and feet so sore. We took a cab back to the hotel. We were just too tired to walk to the train station.

The next day was spent at the National Palace Museum. Very impressive collection and it has made me appreciate how grand Chinese history actually is. So many things I never knew and all very impressive. We had some nice tea and dim sum in the tea room. Then we caught a cab to more department stores. We wanted to buy pineapple cake and needed to go to a number of places. You really have to try all the different varieties because they all taste different from one another. Some have more filling than others, some are sweeter, some have a more buttery taste, etc etc. You will eventually find your favorite. In the end, we got a whole bunch of pineapple cake, some taiwan mochi and some famous taiwan tea. Lunch was at this local place serving noodles. Good food.

Dinner was at a Shanhainese restaurant at Taipei 101. Yes my partner wanted to go up one more time to see the night view. He promised to take me to a nice restaurant if I agreed to go. Of course I said yes. It was really nice though and the night view was actually more impressive than daytime. Dinner was wonderful and absolutely delicious! We had this chinese cabbage salad that I had never eaten before. I know it sounds really simple, but I can't even describe the dressing. It was very tangy....like vinegar and lemon, and also spicy although you couldn't see any red color. Very delicious. Our scallops and asparagus was perfect and the orange pork spareribs was so yummy! The best part of the entire dinner at least for me, was the dessert.
I ordered it because it was something I've never had in my life. It was a green tea cake with preserved plums. My god, it was delicious! There were 4 pieces and my boyfriend hates sweets so it was all mine! I couldn't finish them so we had a doggy bag to take home. It tasted just as good the next day. I wish they made these for purchase so I could take them home with me. Hmmmm......I miss those cakes already.

The final day, we mostly rested in the room and had a light breakfast at starbucks. We checked out at 10am and I had an argument with the cab driver about the fee. My partner felt bad about it and bought me another box of pineapple cake at the airport to get me into a better mood. Nice guy he is. :)

Overall, the trip was great. As you can see, we hardly had any rest and I felt exhausted everyday of the trip. Although the plane trip was short, I had my usual panic attacks on both trips. I had to take a double dose of pills to calm me down, which them made me sleepy. I do hope that someday I won't have to worry about these attacks that don't seem to go away. They are just really troublesome.

Next time, I think I'd like to take it a bit more easy in Taiwan. I'd also like to visit some other parts of the country and maybe even visit a hot spring. Taiwan is very near Japan so it's a very doable trip. People were very nice except for that taxi driver. Food was delicious. The country was exotic and modern at the same time.

This trip was written in haste so I hope you don't mind how terribly messy this post is. I am sleepy and it's midnight and I just don't have time to edit and rewrite. hehehe. Forgive me please.

Taiwan I will see you again soon.

Hawaii trip December 2008 Part 1

Room service at the hotel. The milk was actually spoiled.
We complained and they gave us free cookies. whoopee

The views from the room were actually quite nice though.

from the hotel

from the hotel

this is the view from my room at my mother's.

The North Shore of Hawaii.

Lanikai

Views from the Hilton

more pictures from my digital camera

This is a mexican restaurant in Honolulu. Burrito picture to come. I always wanted to try this place out and got to finally! how was the food? Kind of boring.

The Nieman Marcus that's literally a 5 minute walk from my mother's apartment.

The good thing about my mother's place is that it's very convenient to everywhere.

North shore in Hawaii...January 2009 I think...
The block around my mother's apartment in Hawaii.

I enjoy strolling in the early mornings in Hawaii.

This is the huge burrito that I had in Honolulu. It was actually bland.

My friend had the rice plate which was more boring.

Of course Teddy and Bobby were at my birthday party. hehehe

This is in Japan of course. Very yummy cake!

The dinner my boyfriend had purchased at an outrageous price!

My birthday cake

Macrobiotic breakfast. I started a macrobiotic diet back in January. I was busy preparing all kinds of food...mostly raw good. It was good for awhile. Strangely, my blood tests came back worse. Hmmmm.....

Justin at the beach

Springtime in Tokyo is always beautiful and something we all look forward to after the long

and cold winter. I truly hate winters in Tokyo.

Justin's first cherry blossoms. This is a stroll around my apartment in Tokyo.

I think he hardly noticed.

This is from my apartment balcony. Cherry blossoms!

Shinjuku Gyoen Park spring 2009More cherry blossoms in the park

Narita temple grounds

in Narita

The pagoda in Narita

Narita temple

Justin's 1st year

Time goes by so quickly!

Wow I can't believe it's August already! Just 4 months away from the end of the year. That'a scary thought! This year has been a crazy year for me. I've been so crazy busy with work mostly and my social life has been pretty stagnant throughout the year. I'm not complaining though and feel as if my year has been really productive. Lots of ups and downs, but all positive in my opinion.

Yes, I had internal bleeding and had a blood transfusion. But it also made me feel better afterwards and I was forced to rest for an entire week, which really did me good. I also found out my blood type, which I didn't know about. My panic attacks have gotten better and I don't get them as often. My face still hurts after being on the computer for too long, but that's something I've gotten used to. My business in Second Life is growing and I feel as if I'm on the road to success. My translation work comes to me on a regular basis. Everything is ok.

In my personal life, I have lost lots of muscle due to not going to the gym, however I did not gain any weight and I've actually lost weight, which is due in part to me losing muscle, which is not good. I still do my pushups, situps and some yoga. I also run with my dog but that's about it for me. I would love to actually join the gym again, but I just cannot see myself spending my time there 3 times a week anymore. So I'm still thinking what I should do about that.

My mother came to visit me quite unexpectedly. It was actually a very nice surprised and happy that she made it here. I made her eat a lot of food and she gained about 5 kilos while here with me. It's a good thing because she keeps thinking she has cancer but after gaining weight, she no longer thinks that is possible. Yes she worries too much and I think I got my worrying personality from her.

My sister is visiting me again this October and i'm so looking forward to that. I truly hope that she makes this visit annually. I so enjoy her visits as much as i enjoy seeing my mother.

I will go to Taiwan with my boyfriend this thursday for 3 nights. I think I'm looking forward to it. I'm not really sure. I don't know what it is, but I feel unhappy with my boyfriend again. There are days when I truly love him and other days when I just don't give a damn. Why is that? Someone please explain!!!

I have so many pictures in my digital camera that I need to post here before I lose them.
Oh, we've been having quite a few larger earthquakes recently here in Tokyo. Now that's kind of scary.

One week in hospital

What did I do to deserve this!!! Well, this was what went through my mind when my partner called the ambulance to get me to the hospital last week.

Last Thurday, I had a bowel movement. However I noticed specks of red. That was odd but I thought it sort of looked like chili pepper. I concentrated on what I ate the previous day and could not remember if I had anything resembling chilis. I decided I must be coming down with alzheimer's and shrugged it off. Besides I had no other symptoms or pain. This was around 4pm.

8pm arrived and I felt the need to go to the toilet once more. This time I knew it was something watery and I just let myself go. This time though, I noticed that the water in the toilet was bright red and it was a lot of red!!! It shocked me a bit, but still I had no pain or anything else that seemed odd. I decided that maybe I had a microscopic tear in my butt and shrugged it off again.

9pm arrived and I had to go again. This time more liquid and it truly looked like red wine. A deep red color. I stood there and a chill went through my body. I had to ask myself....is this normal? What could it be? Might it be cancer? I started to get worried but waited for my partner to come home. I didn't flush the toilet and just waited until I had an opinion from my partner.

9:30pm came and my partner got to look at it. He was pretty surprised at how much blood was in the toilet. He told me that he thinks it might be serious and to promise him to go to the hospital the next day. I told him that was what i was planning so don't worry.

10pm. I had to go again and once again, more blood. It was like the same amount kept coming out of my butt. Hmmmm.....this is really scary. I flushed the toilet and started go walk away from the bathroom when I was hit with a dizziness and weakness. I had to lie down and just decided it might be a good idea to just go to bed early.

12pm. Toilet again and yes, more blood.

1am. More blood and I am starting to feel nausea.

1:30 am. Need to go to the toilet but can't. I feel dizzy and nausea. I will just wait it out and sleep. I probably need sleep.

3:30am. I feel liquid sloshing around in my stomach and feel quite uncomfortable. I want to throw up. I can't stand. The room is spinning. I can't seem to breathe as comfortably. I wake up my partner sleeping next to me.

He tells me that my face is quite pale and I beg him to help me to the toilet. He tries but once he gets me to sit on the edge of the bed, the room starts to spin and I feel like throwing up. Uh oh,......am I having a panic attack? I figure I may be having one so I take an anti-depressant. But this is feeling really bad. And the blood. There must be more in my stomach. I try and think to myself if I really need to go to the hospital now. What if it's serious? My partner asks me if I need an ambulance and I nod yes.

4:00am the ambulance arrives. They have a wheelchair for me. I get on and tell my partner to get my bag. It's funny because I actually prepared a bag with some necessities just in case of emergency. Heading to the hospital I feel better. I start to get second thoughts and think maybe I really don't need to go to the hospital. However I'm already on my way so I decide I have to go already.

At the hospital they take my blood right away to check my hemoglobin levels. Explaining details to doctors. I start to feel cold so I ask for a blanket and also wome water as I'm feeling quite thirsty. Blood test comes back and doctor tells me I need to stay for some checks as my hemoglobin level is extremely low. He explains that the normal male has a level of 16 but I only had 9.7. Ok, it sounds bad though I don't feel as bad but I figure I need to get myself checked out. I also need to go to the toilet again and the doctor says to show him the contents of my butt. Same bucket of redness. The doctor says that this looks serious and I would probably need to be hospitalized.

I told my partner he can go home as he has to get ready for work. He promises to call later and I wait until 8:30am for the specialist to come in. Once the time comes, I go and walk to another doctor's office. They tell me I need to go to a different desk to make an appointment so I do. They give me a time of 13:00. Wow, that's four hours away. Well, I guess I could just sit somewhere besides I do feel tired. I wait in the chair but I can't keep my head straight. I feel really tired and a bit nauseated again. One of the nurses notice and she tells me to go lie down on one of the beds they have. I agree to and it feels much better. For some reason, I don't notice how tired/cold/dizzy I am until I get to the bed. Then the doctor comes in and tells me he wants to put an IV in me as well as do another blood test. I agree and he asks me to come into another room for the IV. I somehow make it to the room and sit on the chair while he starts to put the needle in me. Once he finishes I start to feel really dizzy and I can't sit anymore. He notices and calls three nurses over to help me get to bed but I don't make it. I lose consciousness just for a bit and I realized they got me to the bed and I have an oxygen mask over my mouth. I feel better but I hear the doctor calling "emergency CT Scan now!!!" to someone. Good good.....that sounds good. I don't like this anyway and I really need to get myself fixed.

Ok, they got me a bed and I just need to rest. I am officially admitted to the hospital and don't really know when I'm going to be able to go home. They come back with the blood results and tell me I am still bleeding internally though not as much. They will give me blood stopping meds via IV. I sleep most of the day and night. I wake up feeling better but weak. Doctor tells me I will not be able to eat anything until Monday. So nothing to eat from Friday until MOnday....right well.....this is what they do at detox spas so I decide this is good for me. Detoxing and maybe losing weight. Saturday and Sunday is mostly resting, getting meds via IV and blood tests.

Monday arrive and I will get a camera stuck up my butt. The experience itself was not so bad except for the drinking the 2 liters of liquid part. I tell you, the liquid tastes like watery sperm!!! Seriously!!! Like lemony with an ajax after-taste. I could not drink all of it and in the end they had to give me an enema.
They found a scab in my stomach lining at the far end of the large intestine. They found the cause. Yay!!!They still have yet to find the cause of the injury though they tell me. They think it may be some kind of parasite but cannot find anything in my daily stools. I get dinner but it's mostly liquid. Still, it's good to finally have something.

Tuesday arrives and after blood tests, my hemoglobin is now 10. Yay! They said I'm improving.

Wednesday now and another blood test. A bit lower today. 9.1. The doctor says it's a bit worrying as it is now lower than when I was first admitted. They decide they need to check my upper intestines tomorrow and also maybe a blood transfusion.

Thursday morning I go for the test. They did find a bacteria in my upper area but that's easily treated they say. It's something you usually get from your mother while an infant. But they say they need to give me a blood transfusion. My body is not making hemoglobin. My red blood cells are being depleted. They tell me they've ordered the blood yesterday just in case as I am a blood type O RH negative, which is very rare in Japan. The blood arrived looking like watery ketchup and I finally agree.

Friday morning I don't feel a different in the way I feel. All I know is that I can finally go home. In the end I was told to go on medication for 10 days to kill the amoeba just in case it is amoeba. It will cause me to feel sick but was told to just try my best to tolerate the nausea. If I feel numbness in my legs or fingers, go immediately to hospital.

So today is Sunday, two days after being released from the hospital. I feel the same...just very tired and I still am dizzy now and then. It must be due to the fact that I was in a horizontal state for a week with no food. I'm eating more and have gained 2 pounds in a day! I guess that is a good sign.

I am hoping I will not encounter too much nausea during my treatment.