Friday, December 28, 2007

second life christmas

Picture outside my apartment.

Some gifts from friends.

My wreath

A painting done by one of my very good friends.


Undies and bracelet from Domch.

Necklace and antler ears from Domch.

My Christmas Tree, a gift from Almasy

Friday, December 21, 2007

Year's end and reflecting on the year

Well 3 days until Christmas...yippee!!! Nah, actually that was so fake. It's more like Christmas will be here in 3 days and so what. Not being negative or anything like that. This year's been tough and to tell you the truth, I'm just happy to be alive. I've finally been able to function sort of normally these couple of days. I've met someone online and he's been helping me with my panic attacks. In fact, I think he's been more of a help than any doctors I've seen in the past. I truly appreciate his help.

My boyfriend made me truly upset right before the holidays so maybe that's one reasons why I'm not really looking forward to xmas. But hey, some things can't be helped I guess. I'm really too tired to deal with it and I have too many things to concentrate on other than his insensitivity. I still love him and that's all that matters.

By the way, our Christmas tree this year is purple and it's beautiful. The tree has all these purple balls in various sizes and designs. Some are shiny and the others are matte. A silver ribbon circles the entire tree and a few white poinsettias to add some other color. Looking at the tree reminds me of my life this year. So many ups and downs, bright and happy times, dull and painful days...my year in a nutshell.

However once again, all these things have proven to me once again that the human spirit is strong. My friends are genuine and I'm so lucky to have them in my life. My mother and sister care about me and I'm fortunate to still have them with me. My boyfriend who, try as he might, disappoints me on a regular basis and he loves me the best way he knows how. Life sucked big time for me this year. However I'm fortunate to still be here and life can be good.

Merry Christmas

Monday, December 10, 2007

a very long night

Oh my God, I just woke up. Well to tell you the truth, I actually woke up a number of times and it was just such a strange evening. I slept pretty early at 12 midnight. I was extremely tired because I've been out all day and had a slight cold. I fell asleep almost immediately and started to dream a very long dream that continued all the way until I woke up.

My first dream sequence happened between the hours of midnight until 4am at which time I woke up to get a drink of water. In the dream, I was talking to two guys who apparently were i love with me. I needed both of them to help me with some kind of paper work. It was all in Japanese and was very intensive. They seemed to hate each other as they were rivals. I guess they both realized that I was taking advantage of them because here I am giving them orders to finish up quickly. So I decided to distract them by making them a home cooked meal. This seemed to do the trick and they continued to do the paper work. I started to worry that both of them were going to fall in love with one another and that my paper work wouldn't get done. I had chosen one of the guys to be my partner although the other one was cute as well. However the other one seemed to be the more charming one and I had my heart on him. But strangely enough the only thing that mattered was my paperwork.

At that time, I heard footsteps outside my entrance door. I knew they were coming to kill us although there was no reason to. So I made a quick escape through the balcony. I don't know what happened to them, but I was out of there and there was no turning back now. I woke up at 4am with my mouth totally dehydrated and in need of a glass of water.

I went back to sleep right after my drink and proceeded to dream some more.

The second episode lasted until 7:30. With no paperwork in hand, I was forced to look for an apartment. While looking for one, I accidently ran into one of the guys that I thought had died. He said that he doesn't blame me for running away and have an apartment set up for me. We went over to the apartment and I was upset to see the place small, dark and scary. It was also very dirty. He said that was all he could afford at the moment and promised me that we would move to a better place within a year. I had to think to myself if it was all worth it. Once again I hear footsteps outside the door and this time they got in before I could escape. They were a group of killer samurai. They took us away and we became their prisoners. Fortunately for me, one of the guys fell in love with me at first sight and he was able to save me. This however would created problems for him so I had to disguise myself as a woman.

I woke up at 7:30am shivering for some reason. I was so cold and thought something was wrong so used my thermometer to see what my temperature was. 35.6 degrees. What's wrong with me? I turned up the electric blanket and went back to sleep for the third time.

During the last phase, I was half asleep and half awake for most of the time. It was a restless phase and it seemed to make me more tired. The samurai them dominated the storyline. As a woman, my job was to use my power to gather all the women together to create a lavish dinner to poison the men. The men somehow found out that there was an imposter in the women group which was me. So we as a group decided to do something before they could find out who it was as I have become close to the women. This phase of the dream was the strangest as I was able to transport in and out of people at will. There was a time where I was in a real woman washing dishes. A black bodyguard came in to give me a body check as he became suspicious of me. Obviously I was a women inside and out and he got turned on as he felt me up. He started eating me out and I started to get turned on. He was about to fuck me from behind when a few samurai walked in. They started heading towards the two and I swooshed out from the girl and into someone else before they could kill me.

The rest of the dream consisted of a lot of people being killed and me transporting myself in and out of various people. At the end only four of us were left. We were trapped and at the end each and every one of us were slashed with a couple of necks cut off. At the end I was transported into a baby with a mental deficit disorder.

And that was the end of my long dream. This has to be one of the strangest dream I've ever had in my entire life.