My new Vlog and Why I Decided to Do Such a Dumb Thing In The First Place

Hi All.

With thanksgiving being just around the corner, memories of the past come to haunt me once again. Not that I think about the past much but ever since I started vlogging, I've been forcing myself to face them once again for the sake of making sure that I've overcome many past issues that used to bother me.

Oh, you didn't know I vlogged did you? Well I did and no, this is a completely separate YouTube Channel from TabiEats, which is focused on food and travel.

Shinichi's World got its inspiration from a website I used to have until 14 years ago, at which time I decided to just do away with. It was basically a website about my life and although it became popular and got featured a few gay magazines here in Japan, I felt uncomfortable sharing so much about myself. Along with all the wonderful messages came the torrent of hate mail, mostly from those who hated gay people.

I wasn't as strong then as I am now and certainly not as comfortable. I still had a lot of issues to deal with and after way too many times where people noticed me on the streets, in supermarkets and at the airport, I felt it was time to close shop.

Times have changed and so have I. At this age, I feel I have nothing to lose and as I'm nearing the age of 50 very soon, I feel it's time to challenge myself.

At first I was content with my TabiEats Channel and although I'm certainly happy with how that one is doing, I felt that I had things to express that just wouldn't fit into the food and travel category. There were many things I wanted to address in my life and hopefully, to inspire people in ways I'm still not sure yet.

Shinichi's World is an experiment that's for sure, and one that forces me to face my own fears. But seriously, I think that's exactly what I need.

So what's the message behind Shinichi's World besides well, me!

I guess I want people to face their own worst fears and face life head on. I want people my age to not have to "act" their age or let too much maturity get in the way of being what they want to be. We should be able to be and do whatever we desire, no matter how old we are.

I also want younger people, especially those who are going through difficult times, to know that I've been there before. Those who are trying to over come anxiety and panic attacks to know that it can get better. They are not alone.

I know I'm starting to babble as I tend to do but you know what I'm trying to say right? I just want to contribute, encourage and hopefully inspire people to just be who they are.

We basically have two choices in life. Love or fear. And I've decided to choose love. I no longer want to let fear get in the way of anything. Besides what do I have to lose? Lose face? Causing shame to myself?

Seriously? Who the hell cares!

Visit Shinichi's World on YouTube

My one big change in 2013

2013 was a very interesting year for me and a challenging one at that. One of the biggest changes that took place in my life was that I started to write again. More precisely, I started to write on a platform called Squidoo. You can read about my experience here.

http://www.squidoo.com/how-squidoo-has-changed-my-life

I hope to blog more and on a regular basis. I promise! Happy 2014 to everyone out there!

Wow, what a year it's been

This year was an interesting year for me and it felt like a wild roller coaster ride all the way. The year started out serene and calm but it didn't last for long. Trying to juggle different projects at the same time along with trying to figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life (really at your age?) while trying to keep gratitude lists, a workout schedule and worrying about aging has not been an easy task. Along the way, certain things took priority while other equally important things had to take a back seat. I also went through quite a lot of ups and downs with my emotions as well as mentally and I'm beginning to realize that maybe I've always been like this throughout my life. 

Now if what I just wrote is true, it's kind of disturbing to know that because it probably means I have big issues to deal with. We're already at the end of October and as Halloween passes us by, I am once again trying to figure out if I'm happy. I've always kept this part of cyberspace as real as I can and because it's been a good therapeutic tool for me personally, I'm going to keep it that way. I don't know why I'm starting to fear certain things in life and that just really sucks. Why am I letting these things get to me at this point in my life? 

So from this day forward and at least until the end of this year, I'll try and post something here on a daily basis thinking that at the least, it'll help with keeping me sane. 

Not everything was so bad this year. I started writing for squidoo which has been a good overall experience for me so far. It's helped me expand my interests as well as getting me closer to a dream I have had for the longest time. I've been able to stop taking so much meds for dealing with my panic disorder. I have a good sex life and that's always a good thing right. My dog is alive and I love him to pieces. I've also met many good people through my affiliation with squidoo and I'm grateful for that.