Good morning-Bad evening

This morning started out quite beautifully. I woke up after a good night's sleep and although I was still a bit groggy, I got up and made myself some almond flour pancakes. They were delicious and went perfectly well with my cup of kona coffee. Then I realized that I'm almost out of my precious kona coffee. That kind of bummed me out but then again, I am planning a visit to Hawaii soon so I really shouldn't be complaining.

So after breakfast, I did a little bit of work on Second Life before my partner came home. We decided to have a light lunch nearby before heading off to Rikugien, a beautiful park known for its autumn foliage and you know, it really is beautiful. However when we got there, my body was feeling quite weak and I had no idea why. My energy reserves were feeling very low and I felt a headache coming. We walked around at a steady pace until I realized that I wasn't really paying attention to the lovely trees around me so I knew something was wrong.

After a couple of hours, we decided to do some shopping in Ikebukuro. My partner wanted to go and look for a new printer so he browsed and looked at every single option for a full hour while I twiddled my thumb or yawned when he wasn't looking. I tried to pretent I was having fun but it was tough. I really don't enjoy being at the electronics shop. Just not my thing.

After that I was starving and we decided to eat at the organic restaurant nearby. I enjoyed the meal as always but towards the end of the meal, i started to feel off again. My headache was hurting me in the most strangest place and I was starting to feel sick. After paying the bill, I went to the toilet to sit down for a bit to see if the feeling would pass and after 15 minutes or so, I just said the heck with it and started on my way home. We boarded the train but I actually had to get off and rest for 20 minutes. Finally against my will, my partner told me to take an anti-anxiety pill. In the end, the pill did do its magic and I survived my commute back home.

Still though, I hate taking those pills and why on why do I have these bouts of anxiety or attacks or whatever the hell they are anyway? They are so frustrating!

Changing priorities

About 6 months ago, I accidently stumbled upon a site known as Squidoo and it has definitely changed my life. So far I've written over 70 articles ranging from food to coming out. Many topics to be sure but all meaningful and personal to me. I've also met a number of awesome people there and it's hard to put into words how grateful I am for that.

So I'm here sitting at my desk at 10:36 pm on Saturday night. 5 years ago it was hard to imagine myself being home on a Saturday night but how times have changed. Back then I enjoyed all the action and excitement of clubbing and going out to the trendiest new restaurant. I also loved parties with lots and lots of people. Today I like quiet moments at home.

Perhaps I'm just getting older and my tastes are changing. One thing I know for sure is that my priorities are totally different from what they used to be. It's more important now for me to make the most use of my limited time here on earth. I want to make the best use of each minute and enjoy every day of my life. I want to live consciously and deliberately and in the process, hopefully contribute to others around me in a positive way. That's all I want to do really. If I can do that, I am happy.

It's been a couple of good days

These past couple of days I've been waking up with a smile on my face. I can't pinpoint what changed in me but something has in a good way. This morning after a quite hilarious dream, I woke up feeling quite cheerful and happy. I wrote up my gratitude list (which I've been doing for some time now) and sent it to my friend. I decided to skip of day of writing articles as I've been making one every day for a couple of months now-I didn't want to burn myself out. It was good to rest and I really enjoyed this relaxing day.

This weekend, I'll try to get in a few squidoo articles and release a new dress for SHIKI. I'm also going to try and create a few designs for my Zazzle products. Now I'm trying to decide whether I should try and make some vanilla cupcakes or homemade chocolate....which sounds better. I just can't decide.