Another week is over

It's Sunday night and my partner is cooking dinner for me. Sunday is his night to work in the kitchen to create something tasty for us to enjoy. I usually take my dog for his walk and then come home to work out or work on my computer while he's cooking. He is in the kitchen for a couple of hours as he likes to drink beer while slowly cutting, slicing, sauteing and stirring sauces while he contemplates life or something. At least that's what I think he does. Well, he basically takes forever, but he's enjoying himself and that's always a good thing.

You know, my partner and I have been together for 10 years now and that's the longest relationship I've been in. Amazingly, we still have sex once a week and it's usually on a Saturday. Sex is good and honestly, it's better now than it was 5 years ago and that's also a good thing.

My health seems to be improving since I stopped relying on the doctors to somehow cure me. I just realized that in the end, I'm the one that's responsible for my own health and that's that. Even when I feel bad, there are always two ways to look at it. One, I can just feel really bad and think to myself that this is really bad and terrible and why is God putting me through these irritating tests of endurance? Or two, I can think to myself that it's just some sort of healt "blip" and I trust my body to get through it and all I have to do is wait for a bit and all will be ok. Yeah, it sounds simple but it's bloody hard to do. However it works and I've been doing this for awhile and I notice that I feel more confident. My panic attacks are getting less frequent and I am not too afraid of getting on trains like I used to be. The latest event happened today going on a train. As soon as my partner told me it is the express train, for some reasons I started to panic. My hands got cold and clammy, my heart beating quick, and the inside of my brains started to become confused. That's the only way I can describe it. I persuaded him to wait for the local train and we ended up getting off after one station. I eventually succumbed to taking my medication(which I'm trying not to rely on too much), and after about 15 minutes, I felt better. We made it all the way and that was a good thing. Sounds really bad but really, I've had worse and more intence episodes so this was nothing really. It was just a "blip" in my daily radar and that is all. No big deal. I'm handling it the best I can and there is nothing I can do about it. I believe it's going to all go away one of these days and that's always a good thing.

For lunch, we had ramen again. Miso ramen that's famous in Hokkaido. Really good food I tell you. My partner has gotten me hooked on ramen noodles and every weekend, we go and try and new restaurant to eat those damn tasty noodles. That's a good thing too.

My dinner is ready now. Curry.! Always a good thing!