Sunday, January 31, 2010
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Happy birthday to me!
Alright! I'm 44! Can you believe it? Nope, neither can I. Gosh, damn it feels like such an old number! I just cannot believe I am 44! 44 for God's sake! Phew! Ok, got that out of my system. I feel an inner calmness running through my veins at the moment. Breathe......
How does it really feel to be 44? To be totally honest with you, it's really no big deal.You see, i thought it would feel different. I imagined that when i turned 44, I would magically get more wrinkles and my skin would start to sag. Nope. I feel and look quite the same and it's a good feeling. For some reason, i like the way I look. I don't look as young as i used to mind you. I could do wit less bags under my eyes for sure. However I am happy with myself and that's that. Really and truly, I'm not trying to be positive thinking or anything like that. That's the funny thing. I always thought it would be harder for some reason. Nope, it's as easy as pie and i like pie! Ok, I'm getting hungry now. hehehe
My birthday was a quiet one with no fanfare whatsoever. I was working late into the evening and so I didnt have anything planned. My partner will take me to Osaka for the weekend for my birthday. He asked me what i wanted and I really couldn't think of any material things that I really wanted. What came to my mind was relaxation. So he booked a suite at a lovely hotel in Osaka. How I don't know why it has to be in Osaka, but it's all good. I really wanted to say at this resort in Hakone, but it was all booked. Osaka it shall be. My friends will have a party for me next weekend as I'm away this weekend. My friend Kan wants to take me out on Monday after I come back from my Osaka trip, so that's really nice. My partner surprised me with a lovely cake on my birthday.
Last but not least, the thing that really made my day special was all the people wishing me happy birthday through emails, facebook and fridae. LOL. Ok, I know that sounds really weird and juvenile, but it's true. Really made my day and I was happy. Without facebook you see, I would never be able to stay in touch with friends who live in other countries as well as family members. You can either love or hate technology. I myself have a love/hate relationship with it. However I love facebook and thankful for its existence.
Today I'm cooking fish and a simple salad of tempura and mizuna greens. Strange combo I know but it works you know. Really really. One day i was lazy and decided to make a salad of what I had in teh fridge. Leftover tempura(which I cup up with scissors Korean style) and mizuna greens. Put them into a big bowl, drizzled soy sauce, sesame oil and some vinegar. Tossed it and piled them on a plate. Simple and delicious!
I'm a bit delirious because i had a really long day. My eyes are all blurry and I need a glass of wine I think. That's what I'll do. I want to go on a holiday. I want to go to Singapore and Hong Kong and Paris! LA, San Francisco and New York too!
Alright, I'll just shut up and get that damn glass of wine.
How does it really feel to be 44? To be totally honest with you, it's really no big deal.You see, i thought it would feel different. I imagined that when i turned 44, I would magically get more wrinkles and my skin would start to sag. Nope. I feel and look quite the same and it's a good feeling. For some reason, i like the way I look. I don't look as young as i used to mind you. I could do wit less bags under my eyes for sure. However I am happy with myself and that's that. Really and truly, I'm not trying to be positive thinking or anything like that. That's the funny thing. I always thought it would be harder for some reason. Nope, it's as easy as pie and i like pie! Ok, I'm getting hungry now. hehehe
My birthday was a quiet one with no fanfare whatsoever. I was working late into the evening and so I didnt have anything planned. My partner will take me to Osaka for the weekend for my birthday. He asked me what i wanted and I really couldn't think of any material things that I really wanted. What came to my mind was relaxation. So he booked a suite at a lovely hotel in Osaka. How I don't know why it has to be in Osaka, but it's all good. I really wanted to say at this resort in Hakone, but it was all booked. Osaka it shall be. My friends will have a party for me next weekend as I'm away this weekend. My friend Kan wants to take me out on Monday after I come back from my Osaka trip, so that's really nice. My partner surprised me with a lovely cake on my birthday.
Last but not least, the thing that really made my day special was all the people wishing me happy birthday through emails, facebook and fridae. LOL. Ok, I know that sounds really weird and juvenile, but it's true. Really made my day and I was happy. Without facebook you see, I would never be able to stay in touch with friends who live in other countries as well as family members. You can either love or hate technology. I myself have a love/hate relationship with it. However I love facebook and thankful for its existence.
Today I'm cooking fish and a simple salad of tempura and mizuna greens. Strange combo I know but it works you know. Really really. One day i was lazy and decided to make a salad of what I had in teh fridge. Leftover tempura(which I cup up with scissors Korean style) and mizuna greens. Put them into a big bowl, drizzled soy sauce, sesame oil and some vinegar. Tossed it and piled them on a plate. Simple and delicious!
I'm a bit delirious because i had a really long day. My eyes are all blurry and I need a glass of wine I think. That's what I'll do. I want to go on a holiday. I want to go to Singapore and Hong Kong and Paris! LA, San Francisco and New York too!
Alright, I'll just shut up and get that damn glass of wine.
Friday, January 22, 2010
A mixed bag of emotions
Today is actually not too bad. At least the kinks in my neck seems to be getting better. Either that or I'm getting used to the pain. The pains in my neck and shoulders started sometime 3 days ago. I mean it feels like I slept in the wrong position with the big difference that it sort of happened suddenly in the middle of the afternoon. I can hardly turn my neck sideways and it's pretyt uncomfortable. It's been 3 days now and I seem to be getting used to it or something. I'm going to get myself to an acupuncturist today to see if that helps.
Ok, sure my neck pains is adding to my depressing mental state. However I really felt bad these past few months and it just doesnt seem to get better. Believe me I am trying really hard to stay upbeat and do things to try and get better. I do yoga, stretches, avoid the elevator to my 8th floor apartment, eat healthy and sleep 8 hours of sleep and envision my life in perfect health. So what am I NOT doing? In fact, I was so tired and depressed the other day of trying to feel healthy. I actually started to shake and feel like throwing up on the train coming home the other week. Believe me that really sucks.
I usually try not to complain too much about my health but seriously, I just felt the need to take it out on my blog. Do I feel better now? Not really, but at least I got it out of my system and it sort of feels like I talked to someone.
A bit ashamed to say this, but recently I have been hungering for affection. Strange because I do have a partner of 10 years, but the fact is that we hardly ever hug and he's very unaffectionate. The bad thing is that I hardly care these days. I do love him and care about him a great deal. However I think sometime last year, I gave up on trying. I decided it was easier to not really expect much from him. He's not a bad guy. He's just not what I expected in a partner I guess.
I really wanted to start this year right. It sure doesnt seem to be going that way. However if I were to think positively about all of this, maybe this will all make me stronger. Perhaps I'm supposed to be experiencing all of this in order to advance to the next phase in my life. Well, I really have no choice do I?
These days, I fantasize about a man taking him in his arms and just laying my head on his chest while he embraces me with love. I also dream about running around with no pain whatsoever. No, I have not given up hope yet for anything. I still do love life. I just wish it was a tad easier.
Ok, sure my neck pains is adding to my depressing mental state. However I really felt bad these past few months and it just doesnt seem to get better. Believe me I am trying really hard to stay upbeat and do things to try and get better. I do yoga, stretches, avoid the elevator to my 8th floor apartment, eat healthy and sleep 8 hours of sleep and envision my life in perfect health. So what am I NOT doing? In fact, I was so tired and depressed the other day of trying to feel healthy. I actually started to shake and feel like throwing up on the train coming home the other week. Believe me that really sucks.
I usually try not to complain too much about my health but seriously, I just felt the need to take it out on my blog. Do I feel better now? Not really, but at least I got it out of my system and it sort of feels like I talked to someone.
A bit ashamed to say this, but recently I have been hungering for affection. Strange because I do have a partner of 10 years, but the fact is that we hardly ever hug and he's very unaffectionate. The bad thing is that I hardly care these days. I do love him and care about him a great deal. However I think sometime last year, I gave up on trying. I decided it was easier to not really expect much from him. He's not a bad guy. He's just not what I expected in a partner I guess.
I really wanted to start this year right. It sure doesnt seem to be going that way. However if I were to think positively about all of this, maybe this will all make me stronger. Perhaps I'm supposed to be experiencing all of this in order to advance to the next phase in my life. Well, I really have no choice do I?
These days, I fantasize about a man taking him in his arms and just laying my head on his chest while he embraces me with love. I also dream about running around with no pain whatsoever. No, I have not given up hope yet for anything. I still do love life. I just wish it was a tad easier.
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