Feeling better this week.

You know, I hate being negative about anything. It really annoys me and it never does me any good to be in a negative state, which is why I'm happy to say that this week has been a much better week for me. Emotionally I seem to be more stable and feeling happier. I'm slowly getting my energy back and after a few days of just vegging out in front of the TV, I'm now back to working with renewed energy and focus.

I lost a couple of kilos over the past week, but that was in due to me low-carbing during the weekdays. You know, I've been eating very little carbs for the past 3 years and it actually makes me feel better. But I started to eat normal food again sometime last year and I had gained about 3 kilos I think. Now I'm back to a good weight again just after a week and a half of low carbing. This time though, I've changed the diet a bit.

You see, starting this year, I started to eat macrobiotically. As much as I can, I eat organic food. I hardly ever eat meat and stick to fish, tofu, beans and nuts for protein. So I combine this with eating low-carb which means, no grains or starch during the weekdays.

I will have my whole grains, such as brown rice, whole wheat pasta, etc during the weekends. That's also when I treat myself to some cake as well. It always helps knowing that I'll be able to eat some junk food at the end of the week to reward myself.

I was never into fast-food so it's easy for me to stay away. I also don't care for potato chips and stuff like that, unless they are organic or the really good kind....you know, cooked in olive oil and seasonsed with sea salt.

My dog has started to pee in specific areas around the house. I think he's started "marking" and although it doesnt really bother me, it does keep me rather busy and running all over the house trying to clean up after him. I do scold him for doing it, but feel like I'm doing a cheap imitation of my mother. That REALLY bothers me!

My week

I know I should blog more so I can keep up with my life. I've been so busy with things that time just goes by too quickly for me. I sometimes wish there were three of me to go around. That way each one of me can work 8 hours each. That would be cool huh?

This week was just kind of a blur to me. I can't really explain why. Nothing different about my week compared to other weeks. Just a blur though. Did nothing of significance. Did a lot of meaningless things. Things looked different to me this week. Even my dog looked different. Strange. I also felt sad one day, then I felt light and happy the next. Mood swings galore!

It's past 1am now and I just felt the need to vent. I had a really bad attack of something tonight while taking my dog for a walk. I didn't feel too well the entire day actually, but especially since 5pm, I sort of felt sick. I thought maybe it was just due to some of the meds I take for various things. I don't know. Maybe it's the change in eating habits? Hmmmm.....Not enough meat maybe?

Whatever it is, this week was just not a good one for me. It almost feels like depression. I think I went through a period of depression about 10 years ago. But why would I feel depressed all of a sudden?

Well, whatever it is, I at least got to watch a lot of movies on DVD this week. It was a couch potato sort of week for me.

OH......funny thing is that I just thought of something at this very moment.
I feel unhappy with my partner. Now why could that be? I have been feeling more and more
unsatisfied with our relationship. I wish I knew why. We still have sex, though it's very routine. We hardly kiss or hold hands anymore. We mostly talk about work and our dog. Why do I feel that something crucial is missing? Why can't I just be happy?

Man, I swear....it's like the year 2000 for me all over again.