Year's end and reflecting on the year

Well 3 days until Christmas...yippee!!! Nah, actually that was so fake. It's more like Christmas will be here in 3 days and so what. Not being negative or anything like that. This year's been tough and to tell you the truth, I'm just happy to be alive. I've finally been able to function sort of normally these couple of days. I've met someone online and he's been helping me with my panic attacks. In fact, I think he's been more of a help than any doctors I've seen in the past. I truly appreciate his help.

My boyfriend made me truly upset right before the holidays so maybe that's one reasons why I'm not really looking forward to xmas. But hey, some things can't be helped I guess. I'm really too tired to deal with it and I have too many things to concentrate on other than his insensitivity. I still love him and that's all that matters.

By the way, our Christmas tree this year is purple and it's beautiful. The tree has all these purple balls in various sizes and designs. Some are shiny and the others are matte. A silver ribbon circles the entire tree and a few white poinsettias to add some other color. Looking at the tree reminds me of my life this year. So many ups and downs, bright and happy times, dull and painful days...my year in a nutshell.

However once again, all these things have proven to me once again that the human spirit is strong. My friends are genuine and I'm so lucky to have them in my life. My mother and sister care about me and I'm fortunate to still have them with me. My boyfriend who, try as he might, disappoints me on a regular basis and he loves me the best way he knows how. Life sucked big time for me this year. However I'm fortunate to still be here and life can be good.

Merry Christmas