You know, I think my panic attacks are getting better, or should I say, getting less severe. I really think all that positive thinking and ignoring everything that stresses me out is working! I'm still extremely busy these days. Like this week, I had tons of real life work with a whole batch of translation work I had to get done, in addition to my second life work. My dog is getting crazier by the day and needs constant attention. My apartment is getting messier by the minute because of the dog and less time for cleaning. I go to the hospital twice a week for various reasons like a senior citizen, and still have to clean the house to an extent, wash dishes,cook, do the laundry, vacuum everyday(again because of shedding from my dog) constantly wiping and disinfecting the floor(again due to my dog) and.....ok, just take a deep breath and slow down. Lie down on your bed, look up at the clear blue sky(or grey sky depending on the day), think about all the good things going on in your life right now and unwind.
Yes, this is pretty much how my life works these days. I never seem to have enough time to do everything I want, but hey that's life right? I still manage to do yoga at least 3 times a day. I actually force myself away from the computer to do this, which is not easy. :) But if I dont do this, I usually end up pretty stressed out by day three and my face starts hurting and I can feel the attacks coming again. It's definitely not worth it so, I stop and get my yoga mat out. I do some yoga to de-stress. If it's a nice day, I make it a point to hop on my bike and ride a bit.
How what do I do when someone or something bugs me or does something to irritate me or get me upset? I simply ignore it and not dwell on it at that moment. If I dont like something, I will change it or make a decision right then and there as much as I can. The important thing is to keep my cool and to stay stress free because health, at this point in my life, is most important.
Ok, I am really starting to sound like an old lady!
My dog, Justin has learned to sit and beg for food. He's learned his name I think. I think he understand when I say NO, he's doing something he's not supposed to. In the morning, when I get up, he greets me and I splay myself onto the floor to just be with him for about 20 minutes. I rub him all over the place and get his gook out of his eyes. I check his teeth and other body parts for anything that might be wrong. This is our morning ritual. I dont do anything else. Then after 20 minutes, I get up and finally brush my teeth and wash my face. I make some decaf soy latte or green tea soy latte. I usually have a cup of vegetable juice as well. I start toasting a whole-wheat bagle or something of that sort in the toaster or make some miso soup with brown rice, depending on what I have left over. I check my emails while eating with one hand and petting my dog with the other. I then feed Justin his breakfast. After he eats, I keep a watchful eye on him until he decides he needs to take a dump. If he goes to his toilet and shits in the correct place, I have to make sure to really praise him until he's begging me to stop. Then I put a load of laundry into the machine, I wash my dishes, do some vacuuming and finally, I'm able to start work of any kind.
Of course, throughout the day, I take Justin for a 30 minute walk, feed him again, give him baby milk, clean his pee several times a day, clean his cage, fold laundry, work, find time for yoga, work, clean, play tug-of-war with Justin, work, clean, make dinner, work, take a shower.....something like that.
As you can see, Justin has become a major part of my life and I must say, I really truly love him to bits! I cannot imagine a life without the little rascal anymore. Every second of my dogs life, I want to make it fun and enjoyable. Wherever I go, I'm looking for new snacks he might like, toys that he might enjoy and I just cannot love him anymore than I do now. It's funny because I never thought I would ever become so attached to an animal. I love love love Justin!!!
Today, I went to Disney Sea with my boyfriend to renew our annual passports. It was a nice day and since summer is virtually over, we decided to spend some time there. It was nice and for the first time in a very long time, I did not have a panic attack.
