Yes, I know my titles are so unoriginal, but hey I'm just not that great at thinking up of neat titles like everyone else besides, I just have better things to do. hehe
Anyway, today is a great day. Why is it a great day? Well for starters, my day started out kind of bad. My bad was hurting and I had tons of work to do......personal work as well as Second Life work. Yeah, I actually have a business in Second Life and it is exciting to say the least. However all the real life stress come with running a business, even in Second Life. Anyway, I did a bit over an hour of yoga and decided to concentrate on what's important in my life. So while doing my yoga exercises, I focused the attention to the people around me. It really made a different in my mentality as well as getting rid of the aches in my back.
Ok, why is this simple act important to me at this stage in life? Well, for starters, it's just a really good thing to do. Hehe. Yeah, call me weird and crazy but it just feels good to focus ones attention on others besides yourself. It's stress relieving and makes me feel refreshed in a sense. The other reason is that I sort of had some news that may or may not be as bad as it might be.
I had my results from an MRI I had taken of my brain, as I was getting headaches and my pains in my face were really affecting my personal life. My doc says that there are no apparent tumors or bleeding, however there are some white spots that concerns her just a tad. She went to get it analyzed by a specialist and came back saying that it's possibly a very rare disease called vasculitis, which is an auto-immune disease where your blood vessels are inflamed. Well, I tried to stay really positive about the news so I went home without really asking my doc too much. Besides, she told me to just go home because she need to get it analyzed by another radiologist.
I went home and as per my curiosity, I searched the internet to learn the meaning of this rare disease. Well I was stunned and scared after reading about it. It seems treatable, however the medicine has side effects that run from nausea all the way to cancer. Ok, doesnt sound too good to me. Now, if the doctor does come back saying that he thinks it might be vasculitis, they would have to do a brain biopsy to be 100% sure that it is. That's how difficult it is to diagnose. Once they are sure of it, I start treatment and have to be monitored closely for any abnormal side effects or changed in my blood, kidney functions, and a whole lot more. So, after reading all that, I found that I could barely touch my food during dinner. I decided that worrying about it at this point isnt't really helping me or my brain so I decided to meditate.
I shut off my PC and decided to just relax and focus on mending myself through positive energy. Hehehe. I know it sounds crazy, but I hear it works for some people. I made myself some herbal tea to calm my nerves and went to sleep.
I woke up this morning, once again , scared. Now here I am, after doing yoga and focusing on people I love, I feel much better again. I am hoping that my results from the radiologist come back negative and that it's just some kind of blip on the radar. However I'm being realistic and I've sort of made peace with myself and my body. I will take care of my body as best as I can. I will love the people around me as much as I possibly can. I will enjoy every minute of my life because one never knows what can happen in the near future, or even tomorrow. It's not the first time I'm face with a life-threatening possibility. I will fight for life if need be for the sake of the people I love. I'm thankful for them because without them, I probably had a full life and I'm ready to just throw in the towel. Yep I almost gave in to that thought. But hey there seems to be people who need me. My mother is still alive and I remember she telling me that the greatest sin is to die before your parents. Ok mother, just pressure me. ;) I will fight as long as I have the energy and strength. I am happy today and it is strange that I feel this way. Maybe this was a wake-up call for me to remind me of what's important in life.
