What a week

Last weekend I went to a party at a Nepalese restaurant. This is a party that I attend 4 times a year. Just a small gathering of friends that get together now and then. It was fun and just comfortable like going to someone's home. However a little thing happened about 20 minutes before I left. When I was pouring wine for my friends and tried to smile, I felt a strong pull on the left side of my face.

Well, come Monday, I knew my bell's palsy was back albeit in a weaker form. Tuesday I went to visit the doctor and it was official. It bummed me out for sure and cancelled a lot plans on my calendar. I was meant to meet a couple of people this week and had plans for a party end of the month. I also promised to attend a Christmas party on December 11. Those are all off my list unless a miracle happens. But I already know how slow the healing process is from my last bout of BP. At least I don't seem to have complete paralysis and it's only 70-80% paralysis. I can sort of move my mouth but can't smile. My eyelid doesn't close completely when I try to blink so it gets really dry and I tear all day. But at least I look normal if I don't say anything and I try to look butch. My face is not dropping or anything and that is the only thing that's keeping me from getting depressed.

I guess some positive things have come out of this bout of BP. I had insomnia since summer and it now seems cured. The BP makes me tired and sleepy due to the nerves trying to heal. So now I can't seem to stay awake at night even if I tried, resulting in me waking up at 6 am. So that's good for me. I like the morning air and although it's getting cold, I like the peace and quiet during that special time of the day. I also seem to get more work done, although I know I shouldn't be working so much. I just have a lot of work to catch up with and seriously, I'm not going to stop working because of this stupid BP.

Today it's no longer raining like yesterday. I'm looking forward to enjoying my day. I am determined to get my translation work done today so I can start designing my new collection. I'm not letting this ruin my life again. Damn if I let that happen!